Why We Refuse To Listen When We’re Stressed Out

Perspective rendering of a playing card with an illustration of a man in a black suit holding his hand up to stop a woman in a purple shirt from talking.

“You just don’t get it!”  “I’m not looking for your opinion…” Have you ever encountered these responses when you’re (just) trying to give helpful feedback? Defensiveness is an almost universal way in which we respond to stress. But here’s the tricky part—while we’re often quick to notice it in others, it’s even harder to notice […]

Are You (Really) A Good Listener?

Being-a-good-listener

Do you want to know something shocking? At least, it was shocking to me. I recently analyzed the data for my Sphere of Influence research on how people use the twelve different interaction styles, and the results were a landslide. Of 6861 people surveyed, guess what the least used style was? You guessed it: Listen. […]

The More You Push, The Less They Listen

Does it sometimes seem like the more you try to make a point, the harder it is to get across? It can be so discouraging – when you’re trying your best to get others on board, and all that effort just seems to be doing the opposite. I’ve been there, and I know how it […]

Stop Assuming, Start Checking

stop signs to encourage people to stop assuming and ask and check

If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a behavioral specialist – it’s that we aren’t mind readers. Did you need an interaction consultant to tell you that? I highly doubt it, but you’d be surprised at how often my colleagues and I find ourselves digging into different cases of miscommunication, only to find assumptions at […]

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