{"id":3395,"date":"2022-03-01T23:07:43","date_gmt":"2022-03-01T23:07:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sphereofinfluence360.com\/?p=3395"},"modified":"2024-02-08T13:37:50","modified_gmt":"2024-02-08T13:37:50","slug":"easily-offended-it-may-be-stress","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sphereofinfluence360.com\/nl\/easily-offended-it-may-be-stress\/","title":{"rendered":"Easily Offended? It May Be Stress"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A man walks into a bar. He looks at you and says: <em>\u201cCool shirt.\u201d<\/em>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hoe reageer jij? Voel je je gevleid, tevreden dat iemand door heeft hoe modebewust je bent? Of zou je liever van de aardbodem willen verdwijnen, overtuigd dat je net te horen gekregen hebt dat je er belachelijk uitziet?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mocht het eerste het geval zijn: goed voor jou! Is het tweede scenario meer op jou van toepassing? Dan is de kans groot dat jij iemand bent die snel beledigd is.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In dit artikel behandel ik waarom sommigen van ons gevoeliger zijn voor de dingen die anderen zeggen of doen en hoe deze neiging verband kan houden met stress.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ll explore the warning signs that you may be more easily offended than you realize, and how taking offense a little <em>too <\/em>easily can hold you back from making the impact you\u2019re capable of.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Stress and Being Offended&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>How do you know if you\u2019re easily offended?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are a few signs that you might be too sensitive to others\u2019 comments:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>You often take things the wrong way, from comments and gestures to facial expressions or feedback&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Others are overly cautious of the things they say around you &#8211; i.e. they\u2019re \u201dwalking on eggshells,\u201d and\/or&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You\u2019ve been called \u201chigh maintenance\u201d by more than a few people.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>If you can relate to these symptoms, you may already know &#8211; being quick to take offense can be exhausting. It is stressful to feel ashamed or affronted at almost every little thing, but it\u2019s also damaging to your social relationships.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When others are worried about the things they share or say (or when we\u2019re too afraid to express themselves), your potential to make a real impact is limited.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>A Closer Look&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>So how does it work?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are two common ways that an \u2018offended\u2019 reaction might play out:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>We might react with pride<\/strong><em>, <\/em>dismissing or rejecting a potentially negative comment. We may even feel it\u2019s unfair, with an angry rebuttal or silent decision to avoid the speaker. Here, we\u2019re taking offense as an aggressive coping mechanism &#8211; a way to avoid feeling other negative emotions.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\" start=\"2\">\n<li><strong>We m<\/strong><strong>ight feel shame<\/strong>, blaming ourselves for the comment and the way it made us feel (which is typically sad, embarrassed, or self-conscious). This reaction can even fuel a vicious cycle, reinforcing our initial low self-worth.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>In both cases, ambiguous or even benign comments are causing us stress, and we\u2019re allowing our insecurities about our past experiences to get the better of us.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This link to low self-esteem is why I created the <em>Being Offended Coaching Card.<\/em>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re tired of people walking on eggshells in your presence or crossing them off your Christmas list, read on for three ways to develop a thicker skin.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the next section, I\u2019ll share my coaching tips to help you develop a thicker skin, so that you can:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Connect with others better&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Understand and learn from what they\u2019re <em>really<\/em> trying to say&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Improve your conflict resolution skills, and&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Enhance your influence.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>3 Tips To Thicken Your Skin<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We can\u2019t control others\u2019 actions or the things they say &#8211; but we can choose how we respond. By deciding <em>not<\/em> to take offense so easily, you can enhance your influence in social situations and make a bigger difference to the world around you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-color\" style=\"color:#7e3191\"><strong>1.&nbsp; Assume Others Mean Well<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Giving others the benefit of the doubt is a brilliant way to simplify your life and stop taking offense so easily. Instead of assuming they mean the worst, flip those ambiguous comments around and assume they\u2019re positive rather than negatively loaded.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe someone meant \u201cdedicated,\u201d not \u201cannoying\u201d when they called you \u201cpersistent.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Perhaps they weren\u2019t being sarcastic, and their joke just fell flat.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows &#8211; maybe you even misheard them.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Assuming good intentions means taking things a little less literally (or a little more so) &#8211; so just presume the best and get on with your life. Voila!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-color\" style=\"color:#7e3191\"><strong>2. Get To Know Yourself<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Taking offense is a personal reaction &#8211; it\u2019s all about the listener (you), and not the speaker (them).&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s often easier to blame others for negative things, such as the stressful feelings that an unclear comment might trigger, but this knowledge should be empowering. Once you recognize that no one can <em>force<\/em> you to feel hurt or offended, you\u2019ll be able to opt-out of the stress that even clear-cut insults might otherwise cause.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Using self-knowledge to develop a thicker skin means understanding why certain things trigger offense in you:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>What kinds of things hurt you? (e.g. remarks, facial expressions, tone of voice)<\/em> &nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>What particular type of comment or criticism do you take personally?<\/em>&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>What stings the most about them?<\/em>&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>What makes you feel especially insecure or vulnerable?<\/em>&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Might these \u2018offensive\u2019 comments link back to a past negative experience for you?<\/em>&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Knowing the source of your sensitivities allows you to do something about them, making you less reliant on others\u2019 approval. Ultimately, your self-assurance will come from within, not from others\u2019 feedback.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-color\" style=\"color:#7e3191\"><strong>3. Stop Assuming, Start Checking<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re still a few steps away from assuming the best, <a href=\"https:\/\/sphereofinfluence360.com\/nl\/clarify-continuing-to-ask-questions-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>ask for more clarity<\/strong><\/a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because others\u2019 ambiguous remarks or behaviors can be interpreted multiple ways, a little more context or rationale may provide the answers you\u2019re looking for.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Next time you\u2019re tempted to sulk, storm off, or criticize yourself after a potentially offensive comment, simply ask your speaker what they mean: <em>\u201cI don\u2019t think I understood, could you please rephrase that?&#8221;<\/em>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-wp-embed is-provider-sphere-of-influence-360 wp-block-embed-sphere-of-influence-360\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"7oy8tMUM0L\"><a href=\"https:\/\/sphereofinfluence360.com\/nl\/clarify-continuing-to-ask-questions-2\/\">Clarify \u2013 Continuing to ask questions<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe class=\"wp-embedded-content\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" style=\"position: absolute; clip: rect(1px, 1px, 1px, 1px);\" title=\"&#8220;Clarify \u2013 Continuing to ask questions&#8221; &#8212; Sphere of Influence 360\u00ba\" src=\"https:\/\/sphereofinfluence360.com\/clarify-continuing-to-ask-questions-2\/embed\/#?secret=zuEsDa0WrI#?secret=7oy8tMUM0L\" data-secret=\"7oy8tMUM0L\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man walks into a bar. He looks at you and says: \u201cCool shirt.\u201d&nbsp; How would you react? Would you feel great, proud to be a trendsetter, or would you slink out, convinced that you look ridiculous?&nbsp; If you\u2019re the first, more power to you; if it\u2019s the latter, you may be someone who\u2019s quite [&hellip;]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3391,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[48,41],"tags":[672,204,572,265,670,263,529,667,174,171,669,354,671,666,668],"class_list":["post-3395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stress-cards","category-stress-management","tag-building-emotional-strength","tag-communication-skills","tag-conflict-resolution","tag-emotional-intelligence","tag-improving-reactions","tag-interpersonal-relationships","tag-nicolien-dellensen","tag-personal-resilience","tag-self-awareness","tag-self-improvement","tag-sensitivity-management","tag-sphere-of-influence-360","tag-stress-and-sensitivity","tag-stress-coping-strategies","tag-stress-impact-on-behavior"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Easily Offended? 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