{"id":4190,"date":"2023-05-03T21:31:22","date_gmt":"2023-05-03T21:31:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sphereofinfluence360.com\/?p=4190"},"modified":"2023-05-16T12:58:00","modified_gmt":"2023-05-16T12:58:00","slug":"how-stress-makes-us-self-centered-and-3-fixes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sphereofinfluence360.com\/nl\/how-stress-makes-us-self-centered-and-3-fixes\/","title":{"rendered":"How Stress Makes Us Self-Centered (And 3 Fixes)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Niemand houdt van mensen die opscheppen en we worden niet graag betutteld.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But we\u2019ve all been there &#8211; when someone won\u2019t stop talking about themselves, or what they\u2019ve accomplished&#8230;and while it\u2019s never mentioned specifically&#8230;how inferior you are in comparison.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mensen die je steeds onderbreken, neerbuigend tegen je praten en hun schouders ophalen bij wat jij te zeggen hebt.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of misschien gebeurt het tegenovergestelde en ben jij degene die anderen zich zo laat voelen, vooral op die momenten dat je gestrest bent en anderen afschrikt door jezelf groter voor te doen dan je bent.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In dat geval is deze blogpost voor jou.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If your co-workers seem to vanish when you\u2019re particularly stressed, or you want to help a colleague stop seeming arrogant when they don\u2019t mean to, this article is for you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Today I\u2019ll explore my \u201cFeeling Superior\u201d<strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/sphereofinfluence360.com\/nl\/cards-exercises\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Coaching Card<\/a><\/strong>, showing you how stress can make some of us feel high and mighty, and three ways to fix the problem.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:14px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Why Stress Makes Us Feel \u201cSuperior\u201d<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s consider why we might push others away by acting self-important.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because a few things can make us seem arrogant, even when we\u2019re not stressed.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Things like:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Being an \u201coverachiever\u201d (maybe we\u2019re proud, or don\u2019t realize the magnitude of our accomplishments)&nbsp;<\/li><li>Attention-seeking (we want someone\u2019s approval), or&nbsp;<\/li><li>Insecurity (we\u2019re pushing others away to protect our ego).&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:14px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>But arrogance can also be a defense mechanism, and a sign that we\u2019re under stress\u2014even without knowing it. And it can noticeably influence our behavior, causing us to push others away.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These behaviors include:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Cutting people off with your (\u2018better\u2019) version of events\u2014&nbsp;<\/li><li>Starting every sentence with \u201cI&#8230;\u201d \u201cMy&#8230;\u201d or \u201cMe\u2026\u201d&nbsp;<\/li><li>Offering advice without being asked&nbsp;<\/li><li>Competing, rather than collaborating with your co-workers&nbsp;<\/li><li>Getting angry with people who seem weak&nbsp;<\/li><li>Sticking to your guns (and \u2018arrogant\u2019 ways) even when others seem uncomfortable&nbsp;<\/li><li>Finding fault before asking questions&nbsp;<\/li><li>Brushing off anyone who doesn\u2019t agree with you&nbsp;<\/li><li>Trying to \u2018explain away\u2019 negative feedback with reasons and excuses, and more.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:14px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Somewhat like the instinct to flail wildly in rough water, however, acting self-important or arrogant under pressure can do more harm than good. Rather than protect us from anything, it makes others feel uncomfortable in our presence and pushes them away.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:14px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>3 Ways To Take Yourself Less Seriously<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re concerned you might be alienating others with your haughty behavior, there are a few ways to start taking yourself less seriously.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By making an effort to change your behavior, however, you\u2019re already making a first step.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These three coaching tips can be highly effective ways to make others want to connect with you, so that you can get communication and collaboration flowing freely once more.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:14px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"has-text-color wp-block-heading\" style=\"color:#80239f\"><strong>1. Give Others The Spotlight<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Essentially, arrogance is ego-centricity\u2014even narcissistic behavior\u2014at its finest. When we feel like the world\u2019s weight sits on our shoulders, <em>we <\/em>naturally become the focus of our attention.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Otherwise put, we\u2019re \u2018me-centered.\u2019&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By turning our thoughts and attention outward, instead, our behaviors naturally become more \u2018we-oriented\u2019. Try the following, for example:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Inviting others to share opinions more often&nbsp;<\/li><li>Spotting others\u2019 strengths and accomplishments, and giving genuine, heartfelt compliments where due&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Replacing \u201cMy\u201d with \u201cOur\u201d, \u201cI\u201d with \u201cWe\u201d, and \u201cMe\u201d with \u201cUs\u201d when you start a sentence&nbsp;<\/li><li>Asking \u201cWhat would <em>they <\/em>want\u201d or \u201cWhat would <em>they <\/em>need<em>\u201d<\/em> to put yourself in others\u2019 shoes&nbsp;<\/li><li>Saying thank you for little things, or showing gratitude when you wouldn\u2019t normally&nbsp;<\/li><li>Making suggestions at meetings, rather than proposing fully-fledged ideas, or&nbsp;<\/li><li>Aiming for equal parts listening and talking in your conversations.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:22px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"has-text-color wp-block-heading\" style=\"color:#80239f\"><strong>2. Try the Humble Pie&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Humility is a little bit of modesty and empathy mixed together. It may not be what you feel like eating when you\u2019re stressed, but can go a long way to making others feel comfortable and respected in your presence.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The trick to putting others first is simply to think about yourself a little less.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This coaching tip is very closely linked to the first\u2014building on our first list, then, it might include:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Seeking out others\u2019 feedback&nbsp;<\/li><li>Owning up to your mistakes, and&nbsp;<\/li><li>Trying to take a beginners\u2019 mindset (e.g. curiosity, openness to new ideas, tolerance of failure.)&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"has-text-color wp-block-heading\" style=\"color:#80239f\"><strong>3. Take Yourself Less Seriously<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The ability to step outside yourself is great, but being able to laugh at yourself is even better for your wellbeing.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Stress often includes self-imposed burdens, so taking a lighthearted view of your own shortcomings, or \u2018<a href=\"https:\/\/sphereofinfluence360.com\/nl\/what-if-you-cant-find-the-funny\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Finding The Funny<\/strong><\/a>\u2019 in your actions can ease some of the pressure you feel.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The aim is to stop trying to portray yourself in your best light, and be a little more forgiving of your flaws.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To start, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2019\/04\/09\/magazine\/how-to-laugh-at-yourself.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>New York Times experts<\/strong><\/a> suggest, list your perceived shortcomings on paper, and rate them from \u2018least sensitive\u2019 (not-so-serious flaws) to \u2018most sensitive\u2019.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Share it with a friend who you feel comfortable showing vulnerability with.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, think of some self-directed humor based on your less sensitive list items, and practice them. A little bit like graded exposure, you\u2019ll find it easier to move on to bigger, \u2018more sensitive\u2019 items as you get comfortable with it.&nbsp;<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Nobody likes a show-off. And no one enjoys feeling patronized.&nbsp;&nbsp; But we\u2019ve all been there &#8211; when someone won\u2019t stop talking about themselves, or what they\u2019ve accomplished&#8230;and while it\u2019s never mentioned specifically&#8230;how inferior you are in comparison.&nbsp;&nbsp; They might do it on purpose or unconsciously, but either way, it\u2019s hurtful.&nbsp;&nbsp; If you\u2019ve ever been cut [&hellip;]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4199,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[48,41],"tags":[173,175,174,171,61,170,172],"class_list":["post-4190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stress-cards","category-stress-management","tag-arrogance","tag-overcoming-ego","tag-self-awareness","tag-self-improvement","tag-stress-management","tag-superior-behavior","tag-workplace-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - 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