{"id":4298,"date":"2023-09-07T05:00:45","date_gmt":"2023-09-07T05:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sphereofinfluence360.com\/?p=4298"},"modified":"2023-10-19T13:25:41","modified_gmt":"2023-10-19T13:25:41","slug":"what-you-didnt-know-about-complaining-how-to-stop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sphereofinfluence360.com\/nl\/what-you-didnt-know-about-complaining-how-to-stop\/","title":{"rendered":"What You Didn\u2019t Know About Complaining &amp; How To Stop"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Does your partner leave the dishes to \u2018soak,\u2019 never to finish the job? Is the council <em>deliberately <\/em>turning a blind eye to those potholes? Is your Wifi spotty all the time, and especially when you need it most?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Een beetje mopperen kan helpen om deze frustraties te verwerken. Zo blijkt dat we gemiddeld minstens drie keer per dag klagen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maar is dit de juiste aanpak?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In dit artikel onthul ik enkele feiten die je waarschijnlijk niet wist over de impact van klagen op ons, en laat ik je zien hoe je een gezonde balans in je leven kunt cre\u00ebren met enkele praktische coachingtips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Pros and Cons of Complaining<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>First, the good stuff. If you feel like you\u2019ve \u2018let off a little steam\u2019 by moaning about the council or Wifi, that\u2019s because a reasonable amount of complaining has its upsides.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Beyond giving you the chance to vent, it also:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Signals to others that you might need some help<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Highlights the challenging aspects of a situation, which can motivate you to take action&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Gets others involved in the problem-solving, often by making you aware of things you\u2019ve overlooked<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>When it\u2019s done diplomatically, complaining can facilitate action.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:22px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>So, Should I Complain More?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019ve been around people who grumble all the time, you\u2019ll know that it can be a downer. But did you know that too much complaining can have mental health disadvantages, too?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It comes down to how much we complain and striking that healthy balance. The more we pay attention to things that rub us the wrong way, the higher the chances that we fill our heads with negative thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s take a look below the surface and see why complaining more probably <em>isn\u2019t <\/em>the answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Too Much Complaining Is Linked To Stress<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to studies conducted at Stanford University, complaining reduces the size of our hippocampus.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Considering that this area is crucial for problem-solving and other important cognitive functions, it\u2019s not unreasonable to conclude that too much moaning can impair our mental abilities\u2013at least temporarily.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To put that into perspective, consider this: the hippocampus is among the key brain areas that are deteriorated in patients with Alzheimer&#8217;s. It\u2019s worth keeping that whining in check!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Behaviorally, as we\u2019ve seen, it\u2019s simply not as fun to be around people who are constantly complaining. If every other sentence you offer is a whine, you might notice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Others are less inclined to spend time with you<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>They\u2019re not as quick to take your complaints seriously<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>They\u2019re frustrated that you don\u2019t just \u201cdo something about it,\u201d or<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>They stop listening to you altogether.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>In short, it\u2019s the opposite of increasing your influence.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">So, Should I Stop Complaining?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Not quite.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to estimates from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=KxdDvJ2J-VI\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Dr. Guy Winch<\/strong><\/a>, 95% of people don\u2019t make direct complaints when they are dissatisfied.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While we\u2019re happy to whine about the potholes to our neighbor (and an average of 15 other people, according to the stats), we\u2019re much less likely to turn up at the council office and put our foot down in person. Even though we think we will.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s an interesting paradox, but I\u2019m sure you can relate to some of the reasons offered by respondents in the very same survey. Of the 95% who were dissatisfied and didn\u2019t complain, a few reasons included: <em>\u201cIt\u2019s too tiresome,\u201d<\/em> <em>\u201cI won\u2019t get the result I want,\u201d <\/em>and <em>\u201cThe process is far too annoying.\u201d&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So how does complaining link to stress?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re most likely to complain when the world around us is unpredictable. Per Dr. Guy Winch, that\u2019s when we perceive a considerable gap between what we expect and our reality.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because we live in nothing short of an exceptionally unpredictable world, I created the <em>Complaining Stress Coaching Card<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>3 Ways To Complain Less<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you believe complaining less would be a good way to increase your influence and feel less stressed out, here are three coaching tips you can use.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-color\" style=\"color:#80239f\"><strong>1. Five Minute Rule<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>This technique works particularly well in situations that you\u2019re already aware you can\u2019t influence. Say the council has closed for a holiday you forgot about, and it looks like you\u2019re going to need to wait for that pothole to be fixed.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Set an alarm (genuinely set an alarm), and let loose with your complaining for five minutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After you\u2019ve vented for five, stop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Inhale and exhale deeply, and tell yourself the following: <em>\u201cI can\u2019t change this.\u201d<\/em>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This way, you can let off some pressure and deal with the problem when you can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-color\" style=\"color:#80239f\"><strong>2. Gamify It!<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>A nice tip is to <a href=\"https:\/\/health.clevelandclinic.org\/how-to-stop-complaining-7-secrets-to-being-happier\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>turn your complaining habit into a game of stopping<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pick out a rubber band, wristband, or bracelet to wear and move it to the other wrist every time you catch yourself moaning.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Set a goal, say one day, and aim to keep it on the same wrist for the entire period.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-color\" style=\"color:#80239f\"><strong>3. Do Something About It<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>What about the situations where you can make a difference? This tip is about knowing what you can and can\u2019t change, which is very useful knowledge to have. It\u2019s based on the work of Stephen Covey, albeit adapted slightly to suit this context.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Start by drawing up a Circle of Influence, with a smaller one inside. Fill the outer circle with things you can\u2019t impact, and the inner with things you can.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Select one item from your inner circle and take action to make a change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><br><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Does your partner leave the dishes to \u2018soak,\u2019 never to finish the job? Is the council deliberately turning a blind eye to those potholes? Is your Wifi spotty all the time, and especially when you need it most? If you\u2019re like the average person, a little grumbling is often all it takes to feel better [&hellip;]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4300,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[48,41],"tags":[303,14,304,300,302,305,229,301,260,306,42,61],"class_list":["post-4298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stress-cards","category-stress-management","tag-cognitive-functions","tag-communication","tag-complaining","tag-dr-guy-winch","tag-hippocampus","tag-influence","tag-mental-health","tag-positive-venting","tag-problem-solving","tag-stanford-university","tag-stress","tag-stress-management"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What You Didn\u2019t Know About Complaining &amp; How To Stop - Sphere of Influence 360\u00ba<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Discover the surprising impacts of complaining on our well-being and how to find a balanced approach. 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