Have you ever walked out of a meeting, conversation, or decision and thought, “I could have handled that better”?
Or maybe you’ve had the opposite experience—where you replay a tough situation in your mind and realize, “That actually went well. I did the right thing.”
These reflective moments are more powerful than we often acknowledge—being able to pause, look back, and glean insight is one of the most underrated leadership skills.
And yet, in the whirlwind of daily responsibilities, many leaders bypass this critical process in favor of just moving forward.
Today, I’ll unpack the power of reflective leadership: why it matters, how to do it well, and how it can transform your influence on those around you.
Why Reflection is a Leadership Superpower
Leadership is intentional action, with the emphasis on intentional. That deliberate, strategic element is where reflection comes in. Psychologist Albert Bandura has defined it as “assessing the adequacy of actions by evaluating their results” (Bandura, 2001).
As a leader, taking time to consider your thoughts, feelings, and actions is how you up your game. By making sense of your experiences, you:
- Improve your decision-making capabilities
- Communicate more effectively
- Lead with greater emotional intelligence
Does it sound like a worthwhile practice?
The Science Of Reflection in Leadership
Reflection has many benefits for leaders, shaping everything from your interactions to your overall wellbeing. Simply pausing to look back, review, and evaluate events is the first step to consciously re-shaping your professional behavior. By unlocking heightened self-awareness, research shows it can facilitate improved problem-solving skills, confidence, and self-awareness: all essential traits for strong leadership (Brewer & Devnew, 2022).
Even better, role-modelling and sharing self-reflective practices with teammates can foster improved team dynamics and organizational performance (Van Dierendonck & Nuijten, 2011). A ripple effect that keeps on giving…
On a personal level, increasing your self-awareness through self-reflection is a key way to boost important emotional intelligence skills, stress management techniques, and self-confidence, contributing to improved decision-making and interpersonal effectiveness—key qualities for strong leadership (Sutton, 2016; London, Sessa, & Shelley, 2022). By developing a deeper understanding of your strengths, weaknesses, and values, you’re better equipped to inspire trust, navigate challenges, and foster productive workplace relationships (Showry & Manasa, 2014).
Overcoming the “Magical Land of Tomorrow”
So why aren’t we all reflecting more?
It circles back to our point about the “whirlwind” of busyness: we’re often too “tied up doing other things”.
Leaders are constantly under pressure to move fast, act fast, and solve faster. Taking a moment to reflect can feel like an indulgence rather than a necessity (plus, it doesn’t always generate instant results). So, it gets pushed lower and lower down many leaders’ To-Do lists in favor of what will pay off “right here, right now”.
Let me illustrate with a quick question and tell me which of the following alternatives would you likely pick:
→ Reflect on your influencing styles after a meeting or email your team to summarize your next steps?
→ Focus on describing a challenge (even) more clearly and in-depth, or pause to consider that you might be overexplaining?
That’s why leaders who create space for reflection are the same leaders who stand out from the crowd. They’re better equipped to recognize patterns, anticipate challenges, and course-correct when needed.
Ask yourself:
- When did you last pause to reflect on a conversation or decision?
- How did that reflection influence what you did next?
- What insights have you gained from looking back at your leadership style over time?
By making reflection a habit, you can strengthen your ability to lead with clarity, wisdom, and purpose.
How Does Self-Reflection Enhance Your Influence?
Influence is fundamentally about impact—how your words, actions, and decisions shape those around you.
What’s the best way to refine that impact? Reflection.
Leaders who fail to reflect often miss critical lessons. They repeat patterns or overuse styles that don’t serve them, defaulting to habitual responses rather than choosing the best approach for the moment.
Leaders who reflect understand their own influencing style better. For example, they become more intentional about when to Listen, Oppose, Inspire, Coach, or Connect.
They ask questions like:
- Did my approach help or hinder the outcome?
- Did I create an environment of trust and openness, or did I unintentionally shut someone down?
- How could I adjust my style next time to foster better engagement?
Let’s look at five ways you can bring self-awareness to your influence and start leading in a way that resonates, empowers, and creates lasting impact.
5 Practical Ways to Integrate Reflection into Leadership
If you’re thinking, “I don’t have time to sit and reflect for hours,” you’re not alone.
The good news? Reflection doesn’t have to be time-consuming.
With these five simple practices, you can turn self-reflection into a natural habit, turbo-charging your personal and professional development.
1. Post-Meeting Reflections
This one’s as simple as pausing to look back after interactions.
After key meetings or conversations, take two minutes to review your influencing styles, communication, and behaviors. Ask yourself:
- What styles did I use that landed well?
- Where could I have tried a different approach?
- What are some practical ways I can try this next time?
Note down your answers and bring them along to your next meeting!
2. Daily Check-In
Reflection doesn’t have to take hours; regular small practices are enough to start building a pattern.
One useful habit is to jot down one leadership insight from your workday before you wrap up. For example:
- What is one thing I learned today?
- What interaction stood out? Why?
- How might I adjust my mindset or behavior next time?
3. Recognize Your Stress Reactions
Develop awareness of how you instinctively respond to stress and pressure. Do you tend to assume the worst? Talk too fast? Become stubborn or insist you’re right? Shut down completely?
By recognizing these patterns, you can pause and choose a more conscious response instead of defaulting to autopilot. This self-awareness is crucial for both effective leadership and personal well-being. Here are some useful questions to ask yourself after a high-pressure scenario:
- Did I react consciously to that stressful situation? Or did reflexes—becoming stubborn or talking too fast—shape my behavior?
- How might I handle it better next time? What strategies could I employ?
4. Pause Before Responding
Reflection itself is simply a trigger and guide for how you’ll change, especially regarding stress responses. Once you’re armed with more self-knowledge, your next move is to consciously change the behaviors that no longer serve you.
The next time you’re tempted to respond immediately to a situation, pause for a moment to ask yourself: “What have I learned about the best way to handle this?” This simple habit can dramatically improve how you communicate and lead.
If this is something you struggle with, you can always try one of the following practices:
- Deep breathing: Inhale slowly for a count of four, exhale for a count of eight.
- Grounding: Pause to sense the ground beneath your feet or the feeling of your hands as they touch each other. This can bring you back to the present, putting you in a better space to act more strategically.
- Visualization: Imagine yourself somewhere calm and peaceful for a few moments, or even imagine the situation being resolved successfully. See how it impacts your mindset!
5. Use Prompts
Sometimes, just getting started is the hardest part (“I’m okay with reflecting, but how?”)
If you’re unsure where to begin, here are a few simple prompts. Use them as is or tailor them to your situation!
- What did I do today that aligned with my leadership values?
- Where could I have been more effective?
- What’s one thing I’ll do differently tomorrow?
