Maybe it’s the sweet, creamy taste of ice cream; the crunch of a sugar-laced cookie.
Or a few more minutes of mindless scrolling on social media.
Of je schenkt een glas wijn in—die rijke, volle smaak die even alles lichter laat voelen.
We all have go-to comfort foods, activities, or habits that we seek out to escape the pressures of daily life. My guilty pleasure is chocolate, and you’ll often find me craving a candy bar when things are more stressful than usual at work or in the run-up to big events.
There’s nothing wrong with a little self-care or self-indulgence from time to time. At the end of a heavy day, or as a way to unwind now and then, a little guilty pleasure can set you back on track.
It’s when things spiral out of control that we need to stop and reassess our balance. If you feel like you’re really trying to distract yourself from something bigger—something stressful—then this article will help you work on that.
Why Do We Give In To Addiction When We’re Stressed?
Whether it’s (too much) online shopping or sneaky cigarettes, many of us turn to addictive behaviors as a way to cope when we’re under a lot of pressure.
Have you ever found yourself wishing you didn’t open that packet of cookies or wondering where the last three hours just disappeared to? (I’m looking at you, Netflix.)
Why do you think that is?
The truth is that stressful situations, such as work-related pressure, financial difficulties, or relationship problems, have an impact on our emotional state. Because we don’t love feeling angry, scared, or overwhelmed, our instinct is to find a way to cope with that unpleasantness.
It’s when many of us turn to our addictions without questioning our motivations; subconsciously, we seek a quick boost of pleasure, relief, or satisfaction. Indulging can feel like a brief escape from reality or a distraction from the way we really feel.
You may well know that “a little” is sometimes “just enough,” but too much of a good thing can often spiral out of control. The tricky part is that many addictions come with negative consequences if left unchecked, whether they damage our health or prevent us from addressing our problems.
Now that we know why we do it, let’s look at common addictive behaviors and the warning signs that they’re out of control.
Types of Addictive Behavior and Warning Signs
While some addictions are more potentially harmful than others, almost any behavior or habit can be harmful if it becomes our primary means of coping with stress.
As a rule of thumb, it’s generally a good idea to stop and consider the real reason you’re indulging when:
- It begins to have negative impacts on other domains of your life, such as work commitments or personal goals, or
- It leads to unwanted consequences, e.g., on your health, relationships, or emotional wellbeing.
And what do they look like?
Ever heard the saying, “One man’s meat is another’s poison?” Our habits and weaknesses vary widely, and so do the level of their severity, as they can range from mild to very severe.
Looking at the most common addictions, here are some examples to illustrate what might be considered “mild,” “moderate,” and “strong” addictive behaviors:
While they may still be hard to stop, “mild” addictions tend to have less serious ill effects, e.g.:
- Binging TV series or movies
- Aimless social media scrolling
- Indulging in candy or sugary foods
- Shopping or impulse buying
- Playing video games
“Moderate” addictions might look like:
- Out of control shopping or spending beyond one’s means
- Excessive caffeine consumption
- Abnormal exercise or fitness behavior
- Hair pulling or nail biting
- Compulsive hoarding
“Strong” addictions can lead to a lack of control and an inability to stop. They can often have a damaging effect on one’s mental, physical, financial, or emotional wellbeing, such as:
- Alcohol dependence or abuse
- Disordered eating (e.g., anorexia, binge eating)
- Substance abuse or addiction
- Compulsive gambling
- Sex addiction
Knowing when to recognize when an addictive behavior is getting out of control is the first step to taking back control of your behavior and the root cause of your stress. That’s why I created the Toegeven aan verslavingen Stress! Coaching Card and the three following tips to help you take positive action.
3 Tips For Managing Mild Addictive Behaviors
The good news for chocoholics like myself is that many mild addictions can be managed without relying on willpower alone. The following tips may help.
If you’re interested in managing addictive behavior you personally consider “moderate” or “strong,” seeking support from a professional might be a more beneficial way to restore your balance.
1. Find A Healthy Substitute
Reducing your addictive behaviors doesn’t mean leaving yourself without an outlet. Replacing your harmful behavior with a healthy alternative is often a perfectly reasonable strategy!
Coming up with a less consequential way to give in to your cravings can help decrease the chances that you’ll fall back into old habits. Here are a few examples to get you started—try coming up with your own!
- Choose nature over tech. A walk outdoors might provide the mental stimulation and escape you’re craving from social media. The exercise is a bonus…
- Replace unhealthy treats with healthy snacks. Healthy fats like almonds, a piece of fruit instead of ice cream, or dark chocolate instead of a chocolate bar may help you feel full or satisfy your sweet tooth!
- Call a friend instead of binge-watching Netflix. Not only will you get the latest gossip, but you’ll get your social fix.
2. Set Up A Positive Environment
This tip is all about surrounding yourself with things that foster your wellbeing, rather than tempt you to give in to your addictions. Consider the following ways to reinforce healthy behavior and avoid triggering yourself unnecessarily:
- Get rid of anything that reminds, enables, or tempts you to engage in your addictive behavior so you aren’t unnecessarily encouraged to give in.
- Surround yourself with a network of supportive friends, family, or peers who can help you when you’re feeling tempted.
- Prioritize activities, habits, and hobbies that make you feel good both physically and mentally.
3. Create A Go-To Plan
Come up with a personal strategy that will tackle the problem from all angles so you know exactly what you’d rather do when you feel the urge to give in.
Your plan should be based on the behavior you’d like to give up and your own context, but the following steps may be helpful:
- Recognize your triggers: Single out the feelings or situations that make you most likely to turn to your addictive behavior, from high-stakes meetings at work to an argument with a family member. Write them down in a journal or list if it helps, so you can identify when they happen and any recurring trends and patterns.
- Devise a strategy: Plan what steps you’ll take when you feel tempted to fall back on old habits. I’ve given some ideas for healthy alternatives in Tip #1, but you might also consider researching mindfulness meditation, breathing, or talking to a trusted mentor.
- Be your own inner coach: Use positive rather than negative self-talk to boost your self-confidence and motivation. Try identifying any unhelpful thoughts that sabotage your efforts, and replace them with positive ones instead. Turn “I can’t handle this without a cigarette” into “I have the power to make healthy choices!”
- Seek out support: Don’t be afraid to turn to friends, relatives, or a professional if you feel you need it. They’re often a valuable source of advice, accountability, and reinforcement when temptation kicks in.
- Celebrate your wins: Rewarding yourself for your successes is a brilliant way to practice positive reinforcement and build your morale. Think about any milestones you want to celebrate and come up with healthy rewards you look forward to enjoying!
Coming up with and sticking to a plan takes time, and you may need to refine your strategy as you go—but don’t feel discouraged! Remember to be kind and supportive to yourself along the way, and there are always people to help you if you need it.
