Life can flow along seamlessly for ages without any serious concerns or stressors.
Suddenly, it doesn’t, and a trigger throws us off unexpectedly.
An essential teammate resigns.
A big, long-term client ends your contract.
Your business gets a shocking review on Google.
What do you do when life throws you these curveballs?
Many of us spring into action mode instantly, diving headfirst and elbows deep into a pile of tasks. All wrapped up in spreadsheets, task lists, or emails, we don’t stop to process how we feel about being abruptly blindsided by an unwelcome event or unpleasant challenge.
Drowning ourselves in analytical, logical tasks when we are confronted with distressing feelings is called intellectualizing—and it may not be the best coping strategy for dealing with stress.
This article explores what it means to intellectualize your emotions, how to recognize this response in yourself and others, and three healthier, more effective strategies for handling life’s stressors.
What Intellectualizing Emotions Looks Like
Have you ever noticed a colleague overanalyze a problem logically, without a word about its (obvious) impact on their emotions?
Or absorbed yourself in analyzing facts and figures because it feels better than confronting your troubled feelings?
This behavior is not just about problem-solving; it’s intellectualization as a means of coping. This defense strategy involves using reasoning to create distance from unpleasant emotions (it’s like shielding our feelings with logic.)
Compared to other stress responses, such as complaining, blaming others, or even sweating, intellectualization can be tricky to recognize. That’s because rationalizing and analyzing cold hard facts can often be confused with problem-solving—we may think we’re taking action. but we’re doing so to avoid very real emotions.
You’re Doing It When…
With that in mind, what does emotional intellectualization look like in day-to-day life?
This stress reaction can involve:
- Repeating or rehashing facts without addressing emotions.
- Arguing consistently from one’s own viewpoint while dismissing alternative perspectives.
- Talking at a surface level while avoiding talking about feelings in more depth.
- Unwillingness or reluctance to engage with others’ (differing) viewpoints.
- Overemphasizing logic and analysis in situations that also involve emotions.
Downsides of Intellectualizing
Emotional avoidance is not an adaptive long-term strategy for dealing with obstacles and stressors we encounter.
Excessive intellectualization is essentially a form of this, and too much of it can negatively impact our ability to cope in the long term.
It can lead to:
- Reduced clarity about emotions: The more we avoid addressing our feelings, the less capable we are of addressing them.
- Low self-awareness: Intellectualizing generally involves using vague, generic terms to describe our feelings like “fine” or “alright.” This can prevent us from recognizing our own deeper emotions, essentially holding us back from personal growth.
- Social isolation: Not expressing our emotions can harm relationships—the more “closed” we are to others, the more likely we are to feel lonely and emotionally distant from them.
3 Tips To Stop Intellectualizing
Here are some tips to kick a habit of intellectualizing what you feel, using your internal and external resources.
1. Reflect Quietly On Your Emotions
It’s easy to intellectualize when we’re surrounded by constant activity and things to busy ourselves with.
Simply removing yourself from this kind of environment, even for a short while, gives you space to come face-to-face with your emotions in a way that can seem much less overwhelming:
- Schedule a daily slot in your calendar and dedicate it entirely to looking inward at your feelings. Even ten minutes a day is a great start.
- Find somewhere calm (perhaps with relaxing music or nature sounds!) and settle in.
- Let yourself explore your feelings about the stressor or even the day’s events in a non-judgmental way. sing.
- Avoid any analytical tasks during this period – it’s pure focus time for you to recognize and acknowledge your emotions.
2. Grounding Through Sensory Stimulation
Intellectualization often seems like an effective strategy because it detaches us from the rawness of our feelings.
One way to counteract this is by engaging with your physical senses, thus preventing you from overthinking and connecting you with your emotions.
If this seems difficult in a busy office, here are a few ways you can immerse yourself in sensory experiences that help anchor your emotions:
- Squeezing a stress ball
- Feel the texture of a desk plant’s leaves, or
- Savor a distinct-flavored drink like rich coffee
While you’re wrapped up in one of these “tactile moments,” commit your focus to the experience itself.
How do your muscles contract and relax as you hold the ball?
How do the different nuances of the leaves feel on your fingertips?
What flavorful notes can you taste in your coffee? How does the mug feel in your hand, on your skin?
3. Analyze Less, Explore Your Feelings More
This strategy addresses intellectualization at its very core, as it involves limiting the extent to which you analyze, unpack, or overthink the logical facts of a stressful situation.
Try setting a strict limit for yourself to analyze:
- Set yourself a fixed window to assess an issue from a logical perspective (20 minutes might be a good start)
- As soon as that window is over, deliberately start focusing on the emotional side of the event or challenge. What feelings has the situation triggered in you?
Concretely splitting your time between analytical and emotional processing helps to maintain a healthier, more balanced response to setbacks and difficulties you encounter.
